Poor little mind reader
by tortgirl
Summary: The Cullens torture Edward with songs in their heads funnier than it sounds please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

**Poor little mind reader**

Disclaimer: nope I don't own twilight.

_Emmett's thoughts_:Che confusione, sarà perché ti amo  
è un emozione, che cresce piano piano  
stringimi forte e stammi più vicino  
se ci sto bene sarà perché ti amo  
io canto al ritmo del dolce tuo respiro  
è primavera, sarà perché ti amo 

Edward: Emmett if you care for me at all you will stop thinking about that song.

Emmett: Sorry but it's stuck in my head I can't get it out.

Edward: Well try, it's driving me insane.

Emmett: Fine. 

_Emmett's Thoughts:_Oh my love - I know you are my Candyman,  
And oh my love - your word is my command  
Oh my love - I know you are my Candyman,  
And oh my love - let us fly to Bountyland  
You are my Lollipop - sugar sugar top  
You are my Lollipop - sugar sugar top

Edward: That's worse Emmett stop it now.

Emmett: sorry gosh.

_Emmett's thoughts:_ Doctor Jones, Jones,  
Calling Doctor Jones   
Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones,  
Get up now.  
Wake up now. 

Doctor Jones, Jones,  
Calling Doctor Jones  
Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones,  
Wake up now.  
Wake up now.

Edward: I will kill you Emmett stop it with the aqua.

Emmett: sorry.

_Emmett's thoughts:_ shoes shoes oh my god shoes let's  
get some shoes let's get some shoes

Edward: That's it I'm out of here.

**I hope you liked it please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Poor little mind reader chapter 2 Disclaimer: still don't own twilight.**

_Alice's thoughts:_ Did you ever know that you're my hero,   
and everything I would like to be?  
I can fly higher than an eagle,  
cause you is the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,  
but I've got it all here in my heart.  
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.  
I would be nothing without you

Edward: not you too please stop thinking about annoying songs.

Alice: sorry I just saw beaches I couldn't help myself.

_Alice's thought's:_ All my friends know the low rider  
The low rider is a little higher  
Low rider drives a little slower  
Low rider is- 

Edward: what did I just say?

Alice: I'm sorry I didn't know low-rider counted as annoying.

_Alice's thoughts:_ Doom da da di da di Doom da da di da di

Everybody's gonna love today,  
Gonna love today, gonna love today.  
Everybody's gonna love today, gonna love today.  
Anyway you want to, anyway you've got to,  
Love love me, love love me, love love

Edward: stop it stop it stop it ahhhh 

_(Edward runs out of the room and goes into Jasper's study)_

Jasper:hey Edward.

Edward: I can't take it anymore the songs the horrible songs.

Jasper: okay calm down. Do you want me to help you do that?

Edward: yes please.

_(Jasper sent Edward serenity)_

Edward: thank you.

Jasper: You're welcome, just stay in here okay I've never felt you like this, are you okay?

Edward: no I'm not okay the singing is horrible they won't stop.

Jasper: okay just stay here and relax. I'm reading right now so I won't be any trouble.

Edward: okay.

_Jasper's thoughts:_ Fergalicious definition makes them boys go loco  
they want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo.  
You could see me, you can't squeeze me.  
I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy.  
I got reasons why I tease 'em.  
Boys just come and go like seasons. 

Edward: Jasper! Please stop it.

Jasper: sorry couldn't help me.

**End of chapter 2 please review I hope you liked it.**

_  
_


	3. Chapter 3

**On the request of kissofdeath21 killing Edward softly with everyones song**

The Cullens are sitting in the living room thinking silently or so they think.

_Emmett's thoughts:_Slam it to the left  
If you're having a good time  
Shake it to the right  
If you know that you feel fine  
Chicas to the front  
Uh Uh go round  
Slam it to the left  
If you're having a good time  
Shake it to the right  
If you know that you feel fine  
Chicas to the front  
Hi Ci Ya Hold Tight 

_(Edward's groans)_

Alice's thoughts:Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,  
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,  
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,  
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,  
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really  
really really wanna zigazig ha.

Edward:kill me now.

_Esme's thoughts:_I'm doin' this tonight,  
You're probably gonna start a fight.  
I know this can't be right.  
Hey baby come on,  
I loved you endlessly,  
When you weren't there for me.  
So now it's time to leave and make it alone  
I know that I can't take no more  
It ain't no lie  
I wanna see you out that door  
Baby, bye, bye, bye...

Edward:stop it. 

Carlisle:what's wrong Edward?

Edward:the singing oh the singing

Carlisle:okay good luck with that. 

_Jasper's thoughts:_Love me love me  
say that you love me  
fool me fool me  
go on and fool me  
love me love me  
pretend that you love me  
leave me leave me  
just say that you need me 

Edward:stop it now please stop the singing.

Rosalie:will you relax gosh Edward you're scaring Emmett.

Edward:he's the cause of my insanity!

Rosalie:sure he is.

_Rosalie's thoughts:_I feel pretty  
Oh so pretty  
I feel pretty and witty and gay  
And I pity  
Any girl who isn't me today  
I feel charming  
Oh so charming  
It's alarming how charming I feel  
And so pretty  
That I hardly can believe I'm real  
See the pretty girl in that mirror there?  
Who can that attractive girl be?  
Such a pretty face  
Such a pretty dress  
Such a pretty smile  
Such a pretty me! 

Edward:ahhhh

_(Edward storms out and desides to go to the only place he finds peace)_

Bella:hey what are you doing here? not that I mind. 

Edward:I just need a little peace and tranquility.

Bella: okay but Charlie is here so I'm not sure how much you'll get.

_Charlie's thoughts:_see a little silhouetto of a man,  
Scaramouche,scaramouche will you do the fandango-  
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening me-  
Galileo,galileo,  
Galileo galileo  
Galileo figaro-magnifico-  
But Im just a poor boy and nobody loves me-  
Hes just a poor boy from a poor family-  
Spare him his life from this monstrosity-  
Easy come easy go-,will you let me go-  
Bismillah! no-,we will not let you go-let him go-  
Bismillah! we will not let you go-let him go  
Bismillah! we will not let you go-let me go  
Will not let you go-let me go  
Will not let you go let me go  
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-  
Mama mia,mama mia,mama mia let me go-  
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,for me

Edward:NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!****

I hope you enjoyed please review I will take suggestions for other chapters 


	4. Chapter 4

**Poor little mind reader: part four A/N: wow I can't believe how many hits this story is getting  
I am humbled I hope you enjoy this chapter it's a bit short  
but I'll have a longer one in no time.**

Bella: what's wrong Edward?

Edward: everyone's thinking about really bad songs and it's driving me mad.

Bella: is that the only reason you came here?

Edward: no I came here to see you and to get away from the scary music  
but your father is not helping.

Bella: what's he doing?

Edward: He keeps thinking about bohemian rhapsody.

Bella: what's wrong with that it's a cool song.

Edward: he keeps thinking the annoying part.

Bella: the part from Wayne's world.

Edward: what?

Bella: you've never seen Wayne's world?

Edward: no.

Bella: and you say you've lived.

Edward: I'll go to blockbuster later, just make him stop.

Bella: Hey Dad.

Charlie: yeah Bells

Bella: have you heard the new Britney Spears song?

Charlie: no why?

Bella: listen to it it's on my computer go upstairs and listen to it.

Charlie: okay.

Edward: I haven't heard it either is it any good.

Bella: yeah it's great you'll like it.

_**Four minutes later**_

_Charlie's thought's: gimme gimme more gimme more gimme gimme more_

Edward: what have you done?!  
Make it stop please.

Bella: Dad go back to my computer there's a nickelback song I want you to hear.

Charlie: okay.

Edward: and what does that song contain?

Bella: you shall see.

Edward: oh dear.

**that's the end of this chapter I'm gonna use vampeneze666 suggestion in the next one I still need song suggestions preferably goofy ones please and thank you please review.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Poor little mind reader Part: 5  
**

****

_Charlie's thoughts: _We were parked out by the tracks, we're sitting in the back  
And we just started getting busy when she whispered, "what was that?"  
The wind I think 'cause no one else knows where we are  
And that was when she started screamin', "that's my dad outside the car!"

Oh please, the keys, they're not in the ignition  
Must have wound up on the floor while we were switching our positions  
I guess they knew that she was missing  
As I tried to tell her dad it was her mouth that I was kissing

__

Edward: very funny Bella.

Bella: sorry couldn't resist.

Edward: I'm leaving.

_(Edward drives home)  
_

Rosalie: hello Edward.

Edward: Rosalie.

Rosalie: how are you.

Edward: better.

Rosalie: I don't think that's going to last.

Edward: what do you know? 

Rosalie: you shall see.

_(Edward goes to is room)_

Emmett: hello Edward.

Edward: what are you doing here?

_Emmett's thought's: my humps my humps _  
_my humps my humps my lovely lady lumps  
my hump my hump my hump check it out._

Edward: Emmett if you want to keep your arm I recamend you stop.

_Emmett's thoughts: I'm a barbie girl in the barbie world life in plastic  
it's fantastic you can brush my hair undress me everywhere imagination   
life is your creation._

Edward: what is it with you and aqua? 

Emmett: I like it.

Edward: get out.

_(Emmett shrugs and leaves)_

_  
(Alice walks in)_

_  
Alice's thoughts: my life is brilliant my love is pure I saw an angel  
of that I'm sure she smiled at me on the subway she was with another man-_

Edward: stop it Alice.

_Alice's thoughts: you're beautiful you're beautiful it's true_

Edward: get out Alice.

Alice: I didn't say anything.

Edward: I will kill you Alice.

Alice: fine.

_(Jasper walks in)_

_  
_Edward: Jasper get out.

_Jasper's thought's: they're gonna clean up your looks with all the lies and the books  
to make a citizen out of you because they sleep with a gun and keep an eye on you son so they _

_can watch all the things you do because the drugs never work they're gonna-_

Edward: thank you Jasper I really like that song.

Jasper: oh darn I was supposed to annoy you.

Edward: oh get out.

_Jasper's thought's: I want you to know that I'm happy for you I wish nothing but the best for you both-_

Edward: eww Alanis get out Jasper.

Jasper: how dare you I love Alanis.

Edward: out Jasper!

Jasper: fine.

Carlisle: hello Edward, why are you in here so much?

Edward: I need to be alone.

_Carlisle's thoughts: I'm blue da ba dee da ba die  
da ba dee da ba die da ba dee da ba die_

Edward: GET OUT!

Carlisle: okay fine.

Esme: Edward dear Bella's here to see you.

Edward: tell her to come up. 

Esme: alright.

_(Bella came up)_

Edward: help me.

Bella: okay. How?

Edward: distract them.

Bella: okay I'm on it.

_(Bella goes to the living room)_

_  
_Emmett: hey Bella.

Bella: hi Emmett.

Emmett: so we're all annoying Edward it's to bad you can't join us.

Bella: Emmett that's mean you should stop.

Alice: don't be such a killjoy Bella.

Bella: he's going insane just give him a break.

Jasper: no we haven't had this much fun in decades.

Bella: just one day come on he needs it. 

Emmett, Jasper and Alice: fine.

Rosalie: one day that's it. 

Bella: okay.

**alrighty that's the end of chapter 5 I'll have more soon.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Poor little mind reader: part 6**

**A/N: so sorry my computer crashed so I couldn't right for forever but I hope to update as much as I can, even if I have to write it on my sidekick. **

Edward: I'm free! 

Bella: Don't get to excited, they're only going to stop for one day.

Edward: Still, that's something.

Bella: True.

_(Bell's stomach growled)_

_  
_Edward: Are you hungry?

Bella: A little. But it's nothing. 

Edward: No, I'll take you to dinner right now.

Bella: Alright. 

_( They drove to Port Angeles)_

_  
_Edward: Alright, here we are. 

**Back at the Cullen house**

Rosalie: Did you call.

Alice: Yes, and they are glad to do it.

Jasper: Did you ask them to video it?

Alice: Of course.

Emmett: Excellent.

**Back at the resturant.  
**

Paul: They're here.

Jacob: Excellent.

Sam: Alright guys, you know the plan.  
Paul's going with angry girl music.  
Embry's gonna do showtunes.  
Jared's is hardcore rap.  
Jacob's gonna do bubble gum pop.  
and I am going with Britney Spears.  
You all got that?

All: Yes sir. 

Sam: Good.  
Begin.

Edward: Oh dear god no. 

Bella: What? 

Edward: Nothing.

_Paul's thoughts:_  
But what if I'm a mermaid  
In these jeans of his  
With her name still on it  
Hey but I don't care  
Cause sometimes  
I said sometimes  
I hear my voice  
And it's been here  
Silent All These Years

Edward: Not Tori Amos.

Bella: What? 

Edward: Nothing. 

_Embry's Thoughts:_Memory  
All alone in the moonlight  
I can smile at the old days  
I was beautiful then  
I remember the time I knew what happiness was  
Let the memory live again

_(Edward groans)_

Bella: What? 

Edward: Nothing. Just eat.

_Jared's thoughts:_As I'm poppin' my collar, black on black antique impala  
She ain't gotta speak cuz my speakers let her know that I'm ballin  
They call me the boss, I be calling the shots  
It's Ricky Ross, that boy be ballin alot  
That boy be ridin' big, that boy be ridin' rim's  
Not the flats but the fish cuz they just swim  
New York to the west, you a boss if you fresh  
Scuff your shoes, wipe em down  
Now get back on your two step

_(Edward rubs his temples in frustration)_

Bella: Are you okay? 

Edward: Yes, I'm fine.

Bella: You don't seem fine.

Edward: Nothing is wrong, just eat.

_Jacob's thoughts:_ When the sun shines, we'll shine together  
Told you I'll be here forever  
Said I'll always be a friend  
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end  
Now that it's raining more than ever  
Know that we'll still have each other  
You can stand under my umbrella  
You can stand under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh) 

Edward: Oh my god, make it stop!

Bella: What?! 

Edward: Nothing.

Bella: I'm not an idiot Edward, tell me.

Edward: Nothing is wrong, it's just the person behind me is thinking really dirty thoughts. 

Bella: Ohh.

Edward: Yeah. 

Bella: I'll hurry up then.

Edward: No no, I can handle it. 

Bella: You're sure?

Edward: Yeah. 

_Sam's thoughts:_I think I did it again  
I made you believe we're more than just friends  
Oh baby  
It might seem like a crush  
But it doesn't mean that I'm serious  
'Cause to lose all my senses  
That is just so typically me  
Oh baby, baby 

Edward: That is it.

_(Edward stalks to the werewolves table)_

Jacob: Oh hello Bloodsucker.

Edward: Stop it!

Why must you torchure me so?

Bella: Edward, what is going on?

Edward: Nothing.

Bella: Oh stop it.  
What are you guys doing?

All: Nothing.

_Jacob's thoughts:_Hello, is it me you're looking for?  
I can see it in your eyes  
I can see it in your smile  
You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide  
'Cause you know just what to say  
And you know just what to do  
And I want to tell you so much, I love you ... 

Edward: Stop that! 

Bella: Oh no, not you too.  
Rosalie asked you, didn't she? 

Sam: No the psychic. She told us where you were, but yes it was Rosalie's idea.

Bella: You will never do this again.  
Let's go Edward, I'm so sorry. 

**Alright I hope you enjoyed I'll have another up soon.  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Poor little mind reader: Part 7**

****

**  
**Edward: How is our revenge coming?

Bella: Good.  
Lock the doors.

_(Edward locked the doors)  
_

Bella: Excellent.

**Downstairs.**

Alice: What just happend? 

Rosalie: Our emergency lock down went off.

We're trapped!

Emmett: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! 

Edward: Yes, me and Bella have trapped you all.

Esme: What is going on?

Edward: Now I'm gonna make you dance  
It's your chance  
Yeah boy shake that ass  
Oops I mean girl girl girl girl  
Girl you know you're my world  
Alright now lose it  
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Just lose it  
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Go crazy  
(HA-HA-HA-HA-HA)  
Oh baby 

Alice: Is he singing?

Emmett: NOOOOOOO!!!!

Jasper: Emmett, we get it, stop screaming.

Emmett: Okay.

Bella: I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity and  
I've been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key  
And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me  
And even though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going because  
I gotta get outta here  
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake  
I gotta get outta here  
And I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm begging You to be my escape

Rosalie: No, not Pop/rock.

Edward: Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back  
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl  
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back  
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl.

Rosalie: NOOOOOO!!!

Emmett: Hey, Rosalie's aloud to scream no. 

Jasper: Stop it Rosalie.

Bella: This is why I'm hot  
I'm hot cause I'm fly  
You ain't cause you're not  
This is why  
This is why I'm hot 

Jasper: That song was so overplayed.

Alice: I know, I hate that song. 

Edward: See people rocking -- Hear people chanting -- Feeling hot hot hot  
Keep up this spirit -- Come on let's do it -- Feeling hot hot hot  
It's in the air - Celebration time  
Music sweet - captivate your mind  
We have this party song - This fundamental jam

Esme: Oh Edward, please stop.

Edward: No I will not.  
Bella take it away.

Bella: Oh.  
Wan' a lil bit of uh uh and a lil bit of.  
(Wan' a lil bit of uh uh just a lil bit of.  
Wan' a lil bit of uh uh just a lil bit of

Edward: (Uh) I was like, good gracious ass is bodacious  
Oh, flirtacious, tryin to show patience  
I'm waitin' for the right time to shoot my steez (you know)  
Waitin' for the right time to flash them keys  
Then um I'm leavin, please believin (oh)  
Me and the rest of my heathens  
Check it, got it locked at the top of the four seasons  
Penthouse, roof top, birds I feedin  
No deceivin, nothin up my sleeve and, no teasin  
I need you to get up up on the dance floor  
Give that man what he askin for (oh)  
Cuz I feel like bustin loose and I feel like touchin you (uh uh)  
And can't nobody stop the juice so baby tell me whats the use

Bella: Its gettin hot in here (so hot)  
So take off all your clothes (eh)

Edward: I am gettin to hot, I wanna take my clothes off

Bella: She grabs the yellow bottle  
She likes the way it hits her lips 

Edward: She gets to the bottom  
It sends her on a trip so right  
She might be goin' home with me tonight 

Bella: I'm bringing sexy back  
Them other boys don't know how to act  
I think its special whats behind your back  
So turn around and ill pick up the sack

Alice: Make it stop!!!

Bella:  
Roses are red and  
Violets are blue  
Honey is sweet, but not as sweet as you  
Roses are red and  
Violets are blue

Ah di da did mud  
Ah di da did mud

Dum di da di da  
Dum di da di da  
Dum di da di da

Dum di da di da  
Dum di da di da  
Dum di da di da 

Edward: Come pick my Roses!

Bella: My oh my, do you wanna say goodbye?  
To have the Kingdom, baby, tell me why?  
My oh my, do you wanna say goodbye?  
To rule the Country, baby, you and I?

Emmett: Why is Aqua used against me?  
NOOOOO!!!

Jasper and Alice: Emmett!

Edward: A few times I've been around that track  
So it's not just gonna happen like that  
Because I ain't no hollaback girl  
I ain't no hollaback girl

Bella: New Kids On The block,had a bunch of hits  
Chinese food makes me sick.  
And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer,for the summer  
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch,  
I'd take her if I had one wish,  
But she's been gone since that summer..  
Since that summer 

Jasper: That is the stupidest song. 

Alice: Okay, we have tasted our own medicine, just stop. 

Edward: And you'll never do it again? 

_(Alice threw a wihering look at Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett)_

Carlisle: Alice.

Alice: Fine, never again.

Edward: Excellent.  
Let's go Bella.

_(They left)_

Emmett: Are we really gonna stop? 

Alice: Of course not.

Carlisle: What are we going to do? 

Rosalie: Carlisle, I'm shocked.

Carlisle: After that he deserves it.

Esme: Definitly.

**Okay that's all for today I'll update soon.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Poor little mind reader: Disney addition**

Alice: Alrighty Edward, it's revenge time.

Emmett: Okay, he's coming.

I told him Bella broke her leg and that she's in the hospital.  
That's where Carlisle will get him.

_(Jasper and Rosalie walked in)_

_  
_Jasper: We got Bella.

Alice: Excellent.

Esme: Are you sure it's a good idea to get Bella in this too?

Alice: She helped torchure us.

Esme: True.

Jasper: It's four o'clock, time to go to the hospital.

**They went to the hospital.**

Edward: What's going on?  
Where is Bella?

Carlisle: Right there.

_(Bella was blind folded in the corner)  
_

Bella: Edward?  
Edward, is that you?

Edward: Yes, it's me.

Carlisle: You are trapped, the room outside is full of sunlight so none of us can get out.

Bella: Us.

Edward: Yeah, Esme, Alice, Emmett,Jasper and Rosalie are hiding.

Bella: Great.

Alice: Okay I will start.

_Alice's thoughts: _We are Siamese if you please  
We are Siamese if you don't please  
We are from a residence of Siam  
There is no finer cat than I am

Do you see that thing swimming round and round  
Maybe we can reach on in and make it drown  
If we sneaking up upon it carefully  
There will be head for you and a tail for

Edward: Oh god not disney.

Emmett: Now for Bella, hit it Jasper.

Bella and Edward: Not 80's music!

Bella: It burns! 

Alice: Can you feel the love tonight? The peace the evening brings The world, for once, in perfect harmony With all its living things

_Emmett's thoughts: _Under the sea Under the sea Darling it's better Down where

it's wetter Take it from me Up on the shore they work all day Out in the sun they

slave away While we devotin' Full time to floatin' Under the sea Down here all the  
fish is happy As off through the waves they roll The fish on the land ain't happy They

sad 'cause they in their bowl But fish in the bowl is lucky They in for a worser fate One day when the boss get hungry

Guess who's gon' be on the plate 

Alice: Some day my prince will come

Some day we'll meet again

And away to his castle we'll go

To be happy forever I know

Some day when spring is here

We'll find our love anew

And the birds will sing

And wedding bells will ring

Some day when my dreams come true

Edward: Oh kill me!

Bella: What's happening?

Alice: You! I wanna be like you I wanna talk like you Walk like you, too You'll see it's true Someone

like me Can learn to be Like someone like me

Can learn to be Like someone like you Can learn to be Like someone like me!

_Emmett's thoughts: _  
Arabian nights Like Arabian days More often than not Are hotter  
than hot In a lot of good ways Arabian nights 'Neath Arabian moons A fool off his guard Could fall and fall hard Out there on the dunes

Esme: Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo  
Put 'em together and what have you got  
bibbidi-bobbidi-boo

Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo  
It'll do magic believe it or not  
bibbidi-bobbidi-boo

Bella: Be our guest Be our guest Put our service to the test Tie your napkin 'round your neck, cherie And we provide the rest Soup

du jour Hot hors d'oeuvres hy, we only live to serve Try the grey stuff, it's delicious Don't believe me? Ask the dishes They can sing  
They can dance After all, Miss, this is France And a dinner here is never second best Go on, unfold your menu Take a glance and then you'll Be our guest Oui, our guest Be our guest 

Edward: I've got no strings  
To hold me down  
To make me fret, or make me frown  
I had strings  
But now I'm free  
There are no strings on me

Hi-ho the me-ri-o  
That's the only way to go  
I want the world to know  
Nothing ever worries me

Carlisle: Alright that is enough.  
Besides it's sunset, we can go.

Edward: Okay, but this isnt over.

Alice: Oh we know, bye-bye Edward. 

**Okay hope you enjoyed please review.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Poor little mind reader: Part 9**

**WARNING**** raunchy lyrics the rating goes up to teen for this one.**

Carlisle: Alright this is battle of the annoying songs, in this corner we have:

Edward and Bella.

In that corner we have: Alice and Emmett.

Begin!

_Emmett's thoughts: _I'm thinkin' about my doorbell  
When ya gonna ring it, when ya gonna ring it  
Yeah, I'm thinkin' about my doorbell  
When ya gonna ring it, when ya gonna ring it  
Yeah, I'm thinkin' about my doorbell  
When ya gonna ring it, when ya gonna ring it  
yeah, I been thinkin' about my doorbell

Edward: You are so going down.

Do it Bella.

Bella: Stop! Look and listen baby, that's my philosophy.  
It's called rubberneckin' baby, but that's alright with me.  
Stop! Look and listen baby, that's my philosophy.  
It's called rubberneckin' baby, but that's alright with me.

Emmett: Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt.  
It is so big.

Alice: I like big butts and I can not lie  
You other brothers can't deny  
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist  
And a round thing in your face 

Edward and Bella: IT BURNS!!!

Alice: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,  
And their like  
It's better than yours,  
Damn right it's better than yours,  
I can teach you,  
But I have to charge

I know you want it,  
The thing that makes me,  
What the guys go crazy for.  
They lose their minds,  
The way I wind,  
I think its time 

Emmett: I'll take you to the candy shop  
I'll let you lick the lollypop  
Go 'head girl, don't you stop  
Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah)

Alice: I'll take you to the candy shop  
Boy one taste of what I got  
I'll have you spending all you got  
Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah)

Edward: Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy  
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!  
I wanna roll with-  
The gangsters  
But so far they all think  
I'm too white n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Really, really white n' nerdy 

Alice and Emmett: NOOOO!!!

Bella: I ain't got no money  
I ain't got no car to take you on a date  
I can't even buy you flowers  
But together we'll be the perfect soulmates  
Talk to me girl 

Edward: Oh, baby, it's alright now, you ain't gotta flaunt for me  
If we go thouch, you can still touch my love, it's free  
We can work without the perks just you and me  
Thug it out 'til we get it right 

Alice:   
Hey Mr. DJ put a record on I wanna dance with my baby  
And when the music starts  
I never wanna stop, it's gonna drive me crazy

Music, music  
Music makes the people come together  
Music mix the bourgeoisie and the rebel

Don't think of yesterday and I don't look at the clock  
I like to boogie woogie  
It's like ridin' on the wind and it never goes away  
But she's everything I'm in got to have it everyday

Emmett: Swing, swing, swing  
From the tangles of  
My heart is crushed By a former love  
Can you help me find a way  
To carry on again? 

Carlisle: Alright, that is it, take your votes.

_(Everyone took their votes)_

**I'm gonna let you decide who won, leave your review of who you think should win.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Poor little mind reader: Part 10**

**Alright I counted the votes and you guys chose Edward and Bella as the winners.**

Carlisle: In this corner we have: Rosalie and Jasper, also known as Blondie and Painfeella.

In this corner we have: Edward and Bella, also known as Poor little mind reader and Clutzy mcgee.

BEGIN!

Edward: And I said what about "Breakfast at Tiffany's?  
She said, "I think I remember the film,  
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it.  
And I said, Well, that's the one thing we've got

Rosalie: Ew 90's music. Well two can play that game.

Jasper: Here we are now  
Entertain us  
I feel stupid and contagious  
Here we are now  
Entertain us  
A mulatto  
An albino  
A mosquito  
My libido  
Yea 

Edward: Never do that again.

Jasper: Okay.

Jasper and Rosalie: Oh my God we're back again  
Brothers, sisters, everybody sing  
We're gonna bring the flavor show you how  
I've gotta question for ya  
Better answer now Am I original?   
(yeah)  
Am I the only one?  
(yeah)  
Am I sexual?  
(yeah)   
Am I everything you need?  
You better rock you body now 

_(They full on do a choreographed dance)_

Edward: Are they dancing?

Bella: Two can play that game, you know what to do.

Edward: Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,  
I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.  
Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around  
since I was born.  
And now it's all right. It's OK.  
And you may look the other way.  
We can try to understand  
the New York Time's effect on man

Bella: Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,  
you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.  
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin',  
and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.  
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.  
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.

_(They break out in a dance straight from saturday night fever)_

Rosalie: Your lights are on, but youre not home  
Your mind is not your own  
Your heart sweats, your body shakes  
Another kiss is what it takes

Jasper: Its closer to the truth to say you cant get enough, you  
Know youre  
Gonna have to face it, youre addicted to love

Edward: Come on , shake your body baby, do the conga  
I know you can't control yourself any longer  
Come on , shake your body baby, do the conga  
I know you can't control yourself any longer

Come on , shake your body baby, do the conga  
I know you can't control yourself any longer  
Feel the rhythm of the music getting stronger  
Don't you fight it 'til you tried it, do that conga beat

Rosalie: O eh, o eh, o eh, o eh

Jasper: O eh, oo aah, o eh, oo aah

Rosalie: At night when you turn off all the lights  
Theres no place that you can hide  
Oh no, the rhythm is gonna getcha

Edward: yo!! te amo con la fuerza de los mares,  
yo, te amo con el impetu del viento  
yo, te amo en la distancia y en el tiempo  
yo, te amo con mi alma y con mi carne  
yo, te amo y su maÃ±ana  
yo, te amo como el hombre a su recuerdo  
yo, te amo a puro grito y en silencio  
yo, te amo de una forma sobrehumana  
yo, te amo en la alegria y en el llanto  
yo, te amo en el peligro y en la calma  
yo, te amo cuando gritas cuando callas  
yo te amo tanto yo te amo taaanto yooo..!!

Bella: Wow! Edward that was very powerful.

Rosalie: Spanish love songs, we rule spanish love songs. Jasper!

Jasper: I don't know any.

Rosalie: You are useless, do an english one then.

Jasper: For all those times you stood by me  
For all the truth that you made me see  
For all the joy you brought to my life  
For all the wrong that you made right  
For every dream you made come true   
For all the love I found in you  
I'll be forever thankful baby   
You're the one who held me up  
Never let me fall  
You're the one who saw me through through it all

Edward: Oh not Celine, I don't think I can recover.

Bella: Don't worry, I'll take care of it.

Rosalie: Oh I'm so scared.

Bella: But when you touch me like this  
And you hold me like that  
I just have to admit  
That it's all coming back to me  
When I touch you like this  
And I hold you like that  
It's so hard to believe  
But it's all coming back to me  
It's all coming back  
It's all coming back to me now 

Rosalie and Jasper: Oh it burns!

Edward: Thank you Bella.

Bella: No problem.

Rosalie: One Two Three Four  
Tell me that you love me more  
Sleepless long nights  
That is what my youth was for

Old teenage hopes are alive at your door  
Left you with nothing but they want some more

Bella: Hey I like this song.

Rosalie: Really? It was in an ipod comersial.

Bella: I liked it before that.

Rosalie: Damn.

Edward: You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;  
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;  
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;  
You raise me up... To more than I can be

Jasper: NOOOOO!!

Emmett: How come you're aloud to scream?

Jasper, Rosalie , Bella and Edward: SHUT UP EMMETT!!

_(Emmett cowers)_

Carlisle: Alright, that's all for today. Cast your votes.

**I'm letting you vote again..**

**I hope you enjoyed.**

**P.S. I have most of these songs on my ipod I know I'm weird.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Poor little mind reader: Part 11**

**Again you all chose Edward and Bella aka Poor little mind reader and Clutzy Mcgee.**

Esme: In this corner we have: Carlisle and alice aka Doctor love and The twisted miget.

In this corner we have: Blondie and Poor little mind reader.

Bella: Go Poor little mind reader and blondie!

Edward: This is interesting.

Rosalie: I'm just doing this so I can beat Alice.

Edward: She didn't mean to break your ipod.

Rosalie: Sure she didn't.

Esme: BEGIN!

Carlisle: I love it when you call me Big Pop-pa)  
Throw your hands in the air, if youse a true player  
(I love it when you call me Big Pop-pa)  
To the honies gettin money playin niggaz like dummies  
(I love it when you call me Big Pop-pa)  
If you got a gun up in your waist please don't shoot up the place  
Cause I see some ladies tonight who should be havin my baby  
Bay-bee 

Edward: Another one bites the dust   
Another one bites the dust  
And another one gone, and another one gone  
Another one bites the dust  
Hey, I'm gonna get you too  
Another one bites the dust

Rosalie: You're weaker than Jasper, how do you win all the time?

_(Edward points to Bella)_

Rosalie: She's so my partner next time.

Alice:   
And if the sun comes up will it tear the skin right off our bones  
And then as razor sharp white teeth rip out our necks I saw you there  
Someone get me to the doctor, someone get me to a church  
Where they can pump this venom gaping hole  
And you must keep your soul like a secret in your throat  
And if they come and get me  
What if you put the spike in my heart 

Edward: Very funny Alice.

Rosalie: I like the way  
The way she dance (OHH!)(HAAA! HAAA!)  
She take the thug  
Put 'em in a trance

She shake her ass  
Like an avalanche (HAAA!)(OHH!)  
Lookin to her eyes (HAAA! HAAA! HAAA!)  
And you takin' the chance  
I see the fire in her eyes  
Fire in here eyes (YEAAAH!)  
The way she move  
She got the fire in her eyes!  
Fire on her waist  
Fire in her thighs (YEAAAH!)  
BUT I LOVE THE SCANDAAAAAAAAL

Edward: She's so DANGEROUUUUUUUUS (Dangerous)  
She's so DANGEROUUUUUUUUS (Dangerous)  
She's so SCANDOLOUUUUUUUS (Scandolous)  
I LOVE THE SCANDAAAAAAAAL  
HEAR ME SING!  
Woooohoooo hear she comes!  
Watch out boys  
She'll chew you up  
She's DANGEROUUUUUUS (Dangerous)  
DANGEROUUUUUUS (Dangerous)  
I LOVE THE SCANDAAAAAAL

Alice: All the old paintings on the tombs  
They do the sand dance don't you know  
If they move too quick (oh whey oh)  
They're falling down like a domino 

Carlisle: All the bazaar men by the Nile  
They got the money on a bet  
Gold crocodiles (oh whey oh)   
They snap their teeth on your cigarette

Foreign types with the hookah pipes say  
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh  
Walk like an Egyptian

Edward: We got the beat  
We got the beat  
We got the beat  
Yeah  
We got the beat  
Everybody get on your feet  
We know you can dance to the beat  
Jumpin' - get down  
Round and round and round 

Emmett to Bella: Ooh Bangles verses Go-go's.

Bella: I know!

Rosalie: Once I had a love and it was a gas  
Soon turned out had a heart of glass  
Seemed like the real thing, only to find  
Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind  
Once I had a love and it was divine  
Soon found out I was losing my mind  
It seemed like the real thing but I was so blind  
Mucho mistrust, love's gone behind 

Alice: Blondie sings Blondie. How original.

Rosalie: Bring it Alice.

Alice: Oh it's been brought.

Carlisle and Edward: Focus!

Alice and Rosalie: Right.

Edward: I made it through the wilderness  
Somehow I made it through  
Didnt know how lost I was  
Until I found you 

Rosalie: I was beat incomplete  
Id been had, I was sad and blue  
But you made me feel  
Yeah, you maaaaaade me feel  
Shiny and new

Edward: Like a virgin  
Touched for the very first time  
Like a viiiiiirgin  
When your heart beats (after first time, with your heartbeat)  
Next to mine 

Alice: Oh, well imagine; as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor,  
and I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words.  
"What a beautiful wedding!, What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter.  
"Oh yes, but what a shame, what a shame, the poor groom's bride is a whore."

Carlisle: I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?!"  
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.  
I'd chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?!"  
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of... 

Edward: Panic! at the disco, really.

Rosalie: Ready?

Edward: Hell yeah!

Rosalie: Now I'm of consenting age to be forgetting you in a cabaret.  
Somewhere downtown where a burlesque queen may even ask my name  
As she sheds her skin on stage  
I'm seated and sweating to a dance song on the club's P.A.  
The strip joint veteran sits two away  
Smirking between dignified sips of his dignified peach and lime daiquiri

Edward: Swear to shake it up and you swear to listen  
Oh we're still so young, desperate for attention  
I aim to be your eyes  
Trophy boys, Trophy wives

Alice: She says she's no good with words but I'm worse  
Barely stuttered out  
"A joke of a romantic" or stuck to my tongue  
Weighed down with words too over-dramatic  
Tonight it's "it can't get much worse"  
Vs. "no one should ever feel like.."

Carlisle: Dance, Dance  
We're falling apart to half time  
Dance, Dance  
And these are the lives you'd love to lead  
Dance, this is the way they'd love  
If they knew how misery loved me

Esme: Okay that's enough, this is getting ugly, time to vote.

**Okay, remember to vote.**

**I hope you liked it.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Poor little mind reader: Part 12**

**A/N: Hey all, I just wanted to let you know that I will not be updating for a while, I'm going on vacation for two weeks and won't be able to use the internet on my laptop**

**but I will be able to use the internet to check my reviews so keep them coming.**

**And of course you chose Alice and Carlisle as your winners.**

Edward: In this corner we have: Clutzy Mcgee and Blondie.

In that corner we have Painfeela and Awesome Em. Begin or whatever.

Rosalie: They are going down!

Bella: I know, Jasper's weak and Emmett is nothing without you or Alice.

Rosalie: I know.

Emmett: You get the best of both worlds  
Chill it out, take it slow  
Then you rock out the show

You get the best of both worlds  
Mix it all together and you know that it's the best of both worlds

The best of both worlds

Rosalie: Like I said, weak.

Bella: Conquest-  
He was out to make a conquest  
Didn't care what harm was done  
Just as long as he won  
The prize 

Conquest-  
She was just another conquest  
Didn't care whose heart was broke  
Love to him was a joke  
'til he looked into her eyes 

Jasper: Mm ba ba de  
Um bum ba de  
Um bu bu bum da de  
Pressure pushing down on me  
Pressing down on you no man ask for  
Under pressure - that burns a building down  
Splits a family in two  
Puts people on streets  
Um ba ba be  
Um ba ba be 

Rosalie: Lame!

Bella: Malo, malo, malo eres, no se daña a quien se quiere, no!  
Tonto, tonto, tonto eres, no te pienses mejor que las mujeres

Malo, malo, malo eres, no se daña a quien se quiere, no!  
Tonto, tonto, tonto eres, no te pienses mejor que las mujeres

Emmett: California rest in peace  
Simultaneous release  
California show your teeth  
She's my priestess, I'm your priest  
YEAH, YEAH 

Rosalie: I will call you up everyday Saturday night  
And we both stayed out 'til the morning light  
And we sang, "Here we go again"  
And though time goes by  
I will always be  
In a club with you  
It was 1973  
Singing "Here we go again

Jasper: It burns!

Emmett: Don't show weakness!

Jasper: I could be brown  
I could be blue  
I could be violet sky  
I could be hurtful  
I could be purple  
I could be anything you like  
Gotta be green  
Gotta be mean  
Gotta be everything more  
Why dont you like me?  
Why dont you like me?  
Why dont you walk out the door! 

Bella: Sucking too hard on your lollipop,  
Or love's gonna get you down,  
Sucking too hard on your lollipop,  
Or love's gonna get you down.  
Say love, say love,  
Or love's gonna get you down.  
Say love, say love,  
Or love's gonna get you down

Emmett: OWOWOWO!

Rosalie: Say it Emmett, you're weak.

Emmett: 'Cause baby girl's a queen  
And a queen is just a pawn with a bunch of fancy moves  
And she's made me a fiend  
I won't be withdrawn 'cause I got nothing to lose 

Rosalie: NOOOO!!!

Jasper: Every little thing that you say or do  
I'm hung up  
I'm hung up on you  
Waiting for your call  
baby night and day  
I'm fed up  
I'm tired of waiting on you

Alice: Ooh burn!

Rosalie: Can't recoperate, do it Bella.

Bella: Uh, me?

Rosalie: Yes you.

Bella: My baby don't mess around  
Because she loves me so  
And this I know for shooo..  
Uh, But does she really wanna  
But can't stand to see me  
Walk out the dooor..  
Don't try to fight the feelin'  
Because the thought alone is killing me right nooww..  
Uh, thank god for mom and dad  
For sticking two together  
'Cause we don't know hooowww

Rosalie: Heeeyyy... Yaaaaaaa..  
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa..  
Heeeyyy... Yaaaaaaa..  
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa..  
Heeeyyy... Yaaaaaaa..  
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa..  
Heeeyyy... Yaaaaaaa..  
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa

Emmett and Jasper: It burns!!!

Bella: You think you've got it  
Ohh, you think you've got it  
But got it just don't get it  
Till' there's nothing at  
AaaaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaallllll..  
We get together  
Ohh, we get together  
But seperate's always better when there's feelings  
InvooooooOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOooooooOOOOOlved  
If what they say is "Nothing is forever"  
Then what makes, Then what makes, Then what makes  
Then what makes, Then what makes LOOVVEEE?  
(Love exception) So why you, why you  
Why you, why you, why you are we so in denial  
When we know we're not happy heeeerrreeee...  
Y'all don't want me here you just wanna dance 

Jasper: know you'd like to thank your s don't stank  
But lean a little bit closer  
See that roses really smell like boo-boo  
Yeah, roses really smell like boo-boo

Emmett: MMMBop, ba dubi dop ba do bop,  
Ba dubi dop ba do bop,  
Ba dubi dop ba do. yeah yeah,  
MMMBop ba dubi dop ba do bop,  
Ba dubi dop ba do bop,  
Ba dubi dop ba do

Bella: Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought  
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about  
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts  
Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up  
You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds  
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns  
Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined  
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

Emmett: Dirty!

Jasper: My ears!

Edward: Okay that's enough, cast your votes.

**Vote people don't forget to vote I will be watching.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Poor little mond reader: Part 13**

**Greetings from san diego, I'm still on vacation but luckily I was allowed to use my grandpa's computer, (his computer has some thing that mine doesn't so he can get internet any where and I can't) so I'm giving you guys a hint of what I've written over the past few weeks, I chose poor little mind reader because that's my most successful fic.**

**I pretty much have my laptop next to my grandpa's coping what I wrote, I would do this with my many others but I have a new years eve party to get to, so have fun I hope you like it.**

**You guys chose Clutzy Mcgee and Blondie.**

Carlisle: In this corner we have: The Twisted Midget and Clutzy Mcgee.

In that corner we have: Awesome Em and lil' Es yeeeaaahh.

Esme: Yeeaaahh!

Carlisle: You do know you're not lil' John right?

Esme: just say begin killjoy!

Carlisle: Begin!

Esme: First I was afraid  
I was petrified  
Kept thinking I could never live  
without you by my side  
But I spent so many nights  
thinking how you did me wrong  
I grew strong  
I learned how to carry on

Emmett: and so you're back  
from outer space  
I just walked in to find you here  
with that sad look upon your face  
I should have changed my stupid lock  
I should have made you leave your key  
If I had known for just one second  
you'd be back to bother me 

Emmett and Esme: Go on now go walk out the door  
just turn around now  
'cause you're not welcome anymore  
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye  
you think I'd crumble  
you think I'd lay down and die  
Oh no, not I  
I will survive  
as long as i know how to love  
I know I will stay alive  
I've got all my life to live  
I've got all my love to give  
and I'll survive  
I will survive 

Alice: Blech! disco. Hit it!

Bella: I feel good!

Alice: Dananana!

Bella: I knew that I would!

Alice: Dananana!

Bella: So good!

Alice: Don don!

Bella: So good, that I got you!

Alice: Bum bum bum bum bum!

Emmett: Yeah we're sticking with disco.

Esme: Won't you take me to-

Emmett: Funky town!

Esme: Won't you take me to-

Emmet: Funky town!

Esme: Won't you take me to-

Alice: Evil.

Bella: And when I get that feeling  
I want Sexual Healing  
Sexual Healing, oh baby  
Makes me feel so fine  
Helps to relieve my mind  
Sexual Healing baby, is good for me  
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me  
Whenever blue tear drops are falling  
And my emotional stability is leaving me  
There is something I can do  
I can get on the telephone and call you up baby, and  
Honey I know you'll be there to relieve me 

Emmett: come home in the morning light  
My mother says when you gonna live your life right  
Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones  
And girls they want to have fun  
Oh girls just want to have fun

Alice: If we were a movie  
You'd be the right guy  
And I'd be the best friend  
You'd fall in love with  
In the end we'd be laughing  
Watching the sunset  
Fade to black  
Show the names  
Play that happy song 

Emmett: You can't defeat me with Hannah Montana, I love Hannah Montana!

Bella: That is just too much information.

Esme: Emmett focus!

Emmett: Right.

Esme: I don't need no tv, I don't need no news  
All I need is a bumpin beat to bump away my blues

I don't give a damn what the people say  
I'm gonna do it, gonna do it my way  
Gonna let it all out an do my thing  
Boom boom boom an a bang bang bang  
Oooh- 

Bella: We try to take it slow  
But we're still losing control  
And we try to make it work  
But it still ends up the worst  
And I'm craaazzzy  
For trying to be your laaadddy  
I think I'm going crazy 

Emmett: Black eyed peas off?

Alice: Hells yeah.

Emmett: Hey mama, this that sht that make you groove, mama  
Get on the floor and move your booty moma  
We the blast masters blastin' up the jamma  
(REEEEEEEWIIIIIIND)  
Cutie cutie, make sure you move your booty  
Shake that thing like we in the city of sin, and  
Hey shorty, I know you wanna party  
the way your body look realli make me really feel naunughty  
Cutie cutie, make sure you move your booty  
Shake that thing like we in the city of sin, and  
Hey shorty, I know you wanna party  
the way your body look realli make me really feel naunughty 

Alice: Everybody, everybody, let's get into it.  
Get stupid.  
Get it started, get it started, get it started.  
Let's get it started (ha), let's get it started in here.  
Let's get it started (ha), let's get it started in here.  
Let's get it started (ha), let's get it started in here.  
Let's get it started (ha), let's get it started in here.  
Yeah. 

Esme: Bebot bebot  
Be bebot bebot  
Be bebot bebot be  
Ikaw ang aking  
Bebot bebot  
Be bebot bebot  
Be bebot bebot be  
Ikaw ang aking  
Bebot bebot  
Be bebot bebot  
Be bebot bebot be  
Ikaw ay 

Bella: Don't hurt yourself, take it easy  
There's no better time than right now  
So let yourself go, o-eh-o  
Watch yourself now, her comes the sound

Emmett: How come every time you come around  
My London London Bridge want to go down  
Like London London London wanna go down 

Esme: Like London London London be going down like

Carlisle: Okay that's enough! Cast your votes.

**Hope you liked it I should post my othr stuff soon.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Poor little mind reader part 14**

**You chose Esme and Emmett**

Carlisle: In a turn of events we are now in teams of three instead of two, so in team one aka The chumlubbers are:

Poor little mind reader, Clutzy Mcgee and Lil' Es yeeeaah. In team two aka The red peeps: Jacob the Dawg, Jared the Skunk and

Leah the Dame.

Begin!!

Jacob: I'll take you to the candy shop  
I'll let you lick the lollipop  
Go 'head girl, don't you stop  
Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah)

Leah: I'll take you to the candy shop  
Boy one taste of what I got  
I'll have you spending all you got  
Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah)

Edward: Ew.

Bella: Im pickin up good vibrations  
Shes giving me excitations  
Im pickin up good vibrations  
(oom bop bop good vibrations)  
Shes giving me excitations  
(oom bop bop excitations)

Jared: You're just too good to be true.  
Can't take my eyes off of you.  
You'd be like heaven to touch.  
I wanna hold you so much.  
At long last love has arrived.  
And I thank God I'm alive.  
You're just too good to be true.  
Can't take my eyes off of you.

Jacob: Pardon the way that I stare.  
There's nothing else to compare.  
The sight of you leaves me weak.  
There are no words left to speak.  
But if you feel like I feel.  
Please let me know that it's real.  
You're just too good to be true.  
Can't take my eyes off of you

Jared: I need you baby, and if it's quite all right,  
I need you baby to warm a lonely night.  
I love you baby.  
Trust in me when I say: OK  
Oh pretty baby, don't bring me down  
I pray.  
Oh pretty baby, now that I found you, stay.  
And let me love you, oh baby let me love you, oh baby...

Esme: That was lovely, and I support gay marrige.

Edward and Bella: OOh burn.

Jared: You'll pay for that leach.

Esme: She's a very kinky girl  
The kind you don't take home to mother  
She will never let your spirits down  
Once you get her off the street, ow girl  
She likes the boys in the band  
She says that I'm her all-time favorite  
When I make my move to her room it's the right time  
She's never hard to please

Jacob: Mustang Sally, think you better slow your mustang down.  
Mustang Sally, think you better slow your mustang down.  
You been running all over the town now.  
Oh! I guess I'll have to put your flat feet on the ground

Edward: It's not unusual to be loved by anyone  
It's not unusual to have fun with anyone  
but when I see you hanging about with anyone  
It's not unusual to see me cry,  
oh I wanna' die

Jacob: Well she's all you'd ever want,  
She's the kind they'd like to flaunt and take to dinner.  
Well she always knows her place.  
She's got style, she's got grace, She's a winner.  
She's a Lady. Whoa whoa whoa, She's a Lady.  
Talkin' about that little lady, and the lady is mine.  
Well she's never in the way  
Always something nice to say, Oh what a blessing.  
I can leave her on her own

Bella: Are we having a Tom Jones off?

Esme: I guess.

Bella: What's new pussycat? Woah, Woah  
What's new pussycat? Woah, Woah  
Pussycat, Pussycat  
I've got flowers  
And lots of hours  
To spend with you.  
So go and powder your cute little pussycat nose!  
Pussycat, Pussycat  
I love you  
Yes, I do!

_(Alice starts giggling)_

Bella: What's so funny Alice?

Alice: Nothing.

Leah: Sexbomb sexbomb youre a sexbomb uh, huh  
You can give it to me when I need to come along give it to me  
Sexbomb sexbomb youre my sexbomb  
And baby you can turn me on baby you can turn me on  
You know what youre doing to me dont you. ha ha,  
I know you do

Esme: Thank you.

Leah: What?

Esme: Shake ya ass  
But watch ya self  
Shake ya ass  
Show me what you workin with  
Shake ya ass  
But watch ya self  
Shake ya ass  
Show me what you workin with

Carlisle: Okay that's enough, cast your votes.


	15. Chapter 15

**Poor little mind reader: Part 15**

**You chose The Chumlubbers.**

Carlisle: In this corner we have Team The red peeps.

In this corner we have The Gifted who are Poor little mind reader, Twisted midget and Pain feela.

Begin!

Alice: He's drunk again, it's time to fight  
She must have done something wrong tonight  
The living room becomes a boxing ring  
He's time to run when you see him  
Coming licking his hands  
She's just a woman  
Never Again

I hear a scream, from down the hall  
Amazing she can even talk at all  
She cries to me, Go back to bed  
I'm terrified, She'll wind up Dead  
In his hands, She's just a woman   
Never Again 

Jacob: That was weird you singing that.

Alice: Bring it puppy!

Jared: oh it's been brought!

Jacob: Nickelback off?

Alice: Yeah.

Edward: Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
Is that your hand?  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
There goes the next contestant

Jasper: Ha ha!

Jacob: Shut up.

Leah: 'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars  
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars  
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap  
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat  
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars  
In the VIP with the movie stars  
Every good gold digger's  
Gonna wind up there  
Every Playboy bunny   
With her bleach blond hair

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar  
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar 

Jasper: No, we're never gonna quit  
Ain't nothing wrong with it  
Just acting like we're animals  
No, no matter where we go  
'Cause everybody knows  
We're just a couple of animals

So come on baby, get in  
Get in, just get in  
Check out the trouble we're in

Leah: He really shouldn't be allowed to do this, it's just sad.

Alice: I know.

Jasper: Hey!

Alice: Sorry honey, but it's true.

Jacob: Please don't be too long while you're gone  
There ain't enough to keep me here too long  
Not like the last time I stood in line   
Just enough to keep me bouncing off the walls

The new day, the new tray that comes around  
Pills and all enough to kill him while he sleeps  
Is this the alley we drag him to  
Just off of Hollywood and Normandy

If it worked like she said it would   
Just like living in Hollywood

Edward: Sun is shinin' in the sky  
There ain't a cloud in sight  
It's stopped rainin' ev'rybody's in a play  
And don't you know  
It's a beautiful new day hey,hey

Runnin' down the avenue  
See how the sun shines brightly in the city  
On the streets where once was pity  
Mister blue sky is living here today hey, hey

Mister blue sky please tell us why  
You had to hide away for so long  
Where did we go wrong? 

Jacob: That song is so gay.

Edward: Is not!

Jacob: Is too!

Leah and Alice: FOCUS!

Edward: Right.

Jared: Alright so this is a song about anyone, it could be anyone.  
You're just doing your own thing and some one comes out the blue,  
They're like,  
"Alright"  
What ya saying,  
"Yeah can I take your digits?"  
And you're like, "no not in a million years, you're nasty  
please leave me alone." 

Jacob: Can't knock em out, can't walk away,  
Try desperately to think of the politest way to say,  
Just get out my face, just leave me alone,  
And no you can't have my number,  
"Why?"  
Because I've lost my phone

Edward: Now that was gay.

Jasper: I am a vampire, I am a vampire, I am a vampire, I am a vampire

I have lost my fangs

Jacob: That was so random.

Alice: Yeah.

Jacob:   
Monday morning wake up knowing that you've got to go to school  
Tell your mum what to expect, she says it's right out of the blue  
Do you went to work in Debenham's, because that's what they expect  
Start in Lingerie, and Doris is your supervisor

And the head said that you always were a queer one from the start  
For careers you say you went to be remembered for your art  
Your obsessions get you known throughout the school for being strange  
Making life-size models of the Velvet Underground in clay

Edward: You know Belle and Sebastian?

Jacob: Yeah.

Edward: That's cool.

Bella: Why can't we be friends?  
Why can't we be friends?  
Why can't we be friends?  
Why can't we be friends?

I seen you 'round for a long long time  
I really 'membered you when you drink my wine 

Alice: Bella, you're not playing!

Bella: Sorry.

Edward: War!

Alice: Huh!

Jasper: Yeah!

Edward: What is it good for?

Alice and Jasper: Absolutely nothing!

Edward: Say it again y'all!

Alice: WAR!

Jasper: Huh!

Edward: Good God!

Carlisle: That's enough, cast your votes

**Please vote and review.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Poor little mind reader: Part 16**

**You chose the gifted**

Edward: In this corner we have Clutzy Mcgee, Blondie and Doctor love.

In this corner we have Jacob the Dawg, Twisted Midget and Leah the dame.

Bella: You traitor.

Alice: Don't judge me I like winning.

Rosalie: They suck we always beat them.

Alice and Edward: We?

Rosalie: You guys.

Alice: I've been training them, we are unstoppable.

Edward: Begin!

Alice: _[Eminem_  
May I have your attention please?  
May I have your attention please?  
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?  
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?  
We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen a white person before  
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door  
and started whoopin her ass worse than before  
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)  
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,  
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"  
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!  
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)  
Feminist women love Eminem 

Bella: They play dirty.

Rosalie: Don't worry.

Carlisle: Everybody smile please   
Nobody pay no mind to me  
Finger in position on the switch  
A little flash photography

Taking a picture of you  
Taking a picture of  
Taking a picture of me  
Taking a picture

Ramalama Bang Bang  
Flash Bang Big Bang  
Bing Bong, Ding Dong  
Dum dum d' dum dum

With a hammer Bang Bang  
Flash Bang Press Gang  
Bing Bong, Ding Dong  
Dum dum d' dum dum

With a st' stammer  
Bang Bang  
Crash Bang  
Big Bang  
Boing Boing  
Boing Boing  
Dum dum d' dum dum 

Leah: Weak.

Jacob: Gurl shake dat laffy taffy  
Dat laffy taffy  
Shake dat laffy taffy  
Dat laffy taffy  
Gurl shake dat laffy taffy  
Dat laffy taffy  
Dat laffy taffy (candy gurl)  
Dat laffy taffy 

Carlisle: You ready?

Rosalie and Bella: Oh yeah.

Carlisle, Bella and Rosalie danceing: Soulja Boy up in it (OH!)  
Watch Me Crank It  
Watch Me Roll  
Watch Me Crank Dat Soulja Boy,  
That Super Man Dat (OH!)  
Now Watch Me Do  
(Crank Dat Soulja)  
Now Watch Me Do  
(Crank Dat Soulja)  
Now Watch Me Do  
(Crank Dat Soulja)  
Now Watch Me Do  
(Crank Dat Soulja)

Jacob: That was so wrong.

Alce: I know.

Leah: Beautiful girl, lovely dress,  
High school smiles, oh yes,  
Beautiful girl, lovely dress,  
Where she is now I can only guess.

'cause it's gone daddy gone,  
The love is gone.  
Yeah it's gone daddy gone,  
The love is gone.  
It's gone daddy gone,   
The love is gone.  
Yeah it's gone daddy gone,  
The love is gone away.

Rosalie: Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight  
Lead me out on the moonlit floor  
Lift your open hand  
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance  
Silver moon's sparkling  
So kiss me 

Alice: Weak.

Jacob: That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane -  
Lenny Bruce is not afraid. Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn -  
world serves its own needs, regardless of your own needs. Feed it up a knock,  
speed, grunt no, strength no. Ladder structure clatter with fear of height,  
down height. Wire in a fire, represent the seven games in a government for  
hire and a combat site. Left her, wasn't coming in a hurry with the furies  
breathing down your neck. Team by team reporters baffled, trump, tethered  
crop. Look at that low plane! Fine then. Uh oh, overflow, population,  
common group, but it'll do. Save yourself, serve yourself. World serves its  
own needs, listen to your heart bleed. Tell me with the rapture and the  
reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright  
light, feeling pretty psyched.

It's the end of the world as we know it.  
It's the end of the world as we know it.  
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine

Edward: Okay that's enough, cast your votes.


	17. Chapter 17

**Poor little mind reader: Volturi edition**

**You chose ****Jacob the Dawg, Twisted Midget and Leah the dame**

Demitri: Okay, in this corner we have: Jane, Aro and Caius.

In this corner we have: Gianna, Marcus and Alec.

Begin!

Aro: Is ya man on the floor?  
If he ain't...  
Let me know  
Let me see if you can run it, run it  
girl indeed I can run it, run it

Is ya man on the floor?  
If he ain't...  
Let me know  
Let me see if you can run it, run it  
girl indeed I can run it, run it

Jane: Nice master.

Marcus: They packed up in here wall to wall and  
I don't hear nothing but ladies calling  
I'm tryna give one of them all this  
But they keep coming from wall to wall

Packed up in here wall to wall and  
I don't hear nothing but ladies calling  
I'm tryna give one of them all this  
But they keep coming from wall to wall 

Jane: Ooooo deary me,  
My little brother's in his bedroom smoking weed,  
I tell him he should get up cos it's nearly half past three  
He can't be bothered cos he's high on THC.  
I ask him very nicely if he'd like a cup of tea,  
I can't even see him cos the room is so smoky,  
Don't understand how one can watch so much TV,  
My baby brother Alfie how I wish that you could see.

Alec: I'm Miss bad media karma  
Another day another drama  
Guess I can't see the harm  
In working and being a mama  
And with a kid on my arm  
I'm still an exceptional earner  
you want a piece of me?

I'm Mrs. 'Lifestyles of the rich and famous'  
(You want a piece of me)  
I'm Mrs. 'Oh my God that Britney's Shameless'  
(You want a piece of me)  
I'm Mrs. 'Extra! Extra! this just in'  
(You want a piece of me)  
I'm Mrs. 'She's too big now she's too thin'  
(You want a piece of me) 

Jane: Gay much.

Alec: You really want to mess with me?

Jane: Oh bring it.

Aro: Children, battle with song lyrics, not powers.

Jane and Aro: Fine.

Caius: Welcome to a new kind of tension.  
All across the alien nation.  
Where everything isn't meant to be okay.  
Television dreams of tomorrow.  
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.  
For that's enough to argue.

Don't want to be an American idiot.  
One nation controlled by the media.  
Information age of hysteria.  
It's calling out to idiot America. 

Jane: Turn around.

Aro: every now and then I get a   
little bit lonely and you're never coming around 

Jane: Turn around.

Aro: Every now and then I get a   
little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears 

Jane: Turn around bright eyes

Aro: And I need you now tonight   
And I need you more than ever  
And if you'll only hold me tight  
We'll be holding on forever  
And we'll only be making it right  
Cause we'll never be wrong together  
We can take it to the end of the line  
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time  
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark  
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks  
I really need you tonight  
Forever's gonna start tonight  
Forever's gonna start tonight

Marcus: No, it burns!

Gianna: Shiny happy people laughing

Meet me in the crowd  
People, people  
Throw your love around  
Love me, love me  
Take it into town  
Happy, happy  
Put it in the ground  
Where the flowers grow  
Gold and silver shine

Demitri: Okay that's enough cast your votes, remember people whoever wins this round goes head to head with the Cullen's.


	18. Chapter 18

**Poor little mind reader: Part 18 **

**A/N: Okay, I have come to a decision and not this chapter but the next one will be the last chapter of poor little mind reader.**

**In this chapter the Cullen's and the wolves will be competing to see who will battle the Volturi, that will be in the next and final chapter.**

**You picked Jane, Aro and Caius to battle the Cullen's**

Jasper: In this Corner we have: Twisted midget, Jacob the Dawg and Love doctor.

In that corner we have: Clutzy Mcgee, Poor little mind reader and awesome Em

Begin!

Alice: Friday night and the lights are low  
Looking out for the place to go  
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing  
You come in to look for a king  
Anybody could be that guy  
Night is young and the music's high  
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine  
You're in the mood for a dance  
And when you get the chance...

You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen  
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine  
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life  
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen

Bella: Weak, do it PLMR.

Edward: Lazy Sunday wake up in the late afternoon  
Call Parnell just to see how he's doing

Bella: Hello? 

Edward: What up, Parns? 

Bella: Yo Samberg, what's crackin'?

Edward: You thinking what I'm thinkin? 

Bella: NARNIA.

Bella and Edward: It's the Chronic (what?)  
Cles of Narnia  
Yes, the Chronic (what?)  
Cles of Narnia  
We love that Chronic (what?)  
Cles of Narnia  
Pass that Chronic (what?)  
Cles of Narnia 

Jacob: Ouch.

Alice: I don't sleep mother fer  
off that yak and bourbon  
doin' 120 gettin head while I'm swervin

Jacob: Dn Alice you a crazy chick

Alice: Yo shut the f up and suck my dk  
I'm bustin dudes mouth like gushers mother fer  
roll up on NBC and smack the st outta Jeff Zucker

Emmett: Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon  
You come and go  
You come and go  
Loving would be easy if your colors were like my dream  
Red, gold and green  
Red, gold and green 

Carlisle: Oh I hate that song.

Alice: Carlisle!

Carlisle: Do you really want to hurt me  
Do you really want to make me cry  
Do you really want to hurt me  
Do you really want to make me cry

Edward: Oh everybody have fun tonight  
Everybody have fun tonight  
Everybody wang chung tonight  
Everybody have fun tonight  
Everybody wang chung tonight  
Everybody have fun 

Jacob: Shake shake just shake shake  
Just shake shake  
Just shake chica shake shake  
Shake shake just shake shake  
Just shake shake  
Just shake chica shake shake 

Alice: Mentirosa  
Mentirosa  
Mentirosa  
Dale huevo  
Dale huevo

Bella: That was lame.

Alice: You got something better?

Bella: I think I do.

I need love, love  
To ease my mind  
I need to find, find someone to call mine  
But mama said 

Edward: You can't hurry love  
No, you just have to wait  
She said love don't come easy  
It's a game of give and take

You can't hurry love  
No, you just have to wait  
You got to trust, give it time  
No matter how long it takes 

Bella: But how many heartaches  
Must I stand before I find a love  
To let me live again  
Right now the only thing  
That keeps me hangin' on  
When I feel my strength, yeah  
It's almost gone  
I remember mama said:

You can't hurry love  
No, you just have to wait  
She said love don't come easy  
It's a game of give and take 

Alice: Oh it burns!!

Jasper: Okay that's enough cast your votes.

**Remember to vote, you're decididing who is going to compete with the Volturi, and I swear you will not be disapointed.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Poor little mind reader: The final chapter**

**AN: Hi all, this is the last chapter of poor little mind reader, I hope you like it, I would like to thank all of the people who have read anything I have written**

**you guys rock! If this is the only story of mine you have read, guess what I have more so check those out.**

**Again I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review it.**

**You guys chose: **

**Poor little mind reader, Clutzy Mcgee and Awesome Em.**

Carlisle: Where are the contestents? We're starting in five minutes.

Esme: I don't know Carlisle, last time I saw Emmett he was in a red wet suit.

Carlisle: Wet suit?

Esme: Don't ask, I don't know.

Alice: Where the hell are Edward, Bella and Emmett?

Carlisle: I don't know, they need to hurry up, we're starting.

Jasper: The Volturi is getting antsy, they've requested a snack.

Alice: Go fetch Mike Newton.

Carlisle: No, tell them to hold their horses, the others will be here in a minute.

_(Edward, Bella and Emmett show up)_

Esme: Emmett, what on earth are you wearing?

Emmett: I'm a lobster.

Carlisle: Oh dear.

Edward: Relax, it will help.

Carlisle: Fine, just go out.

_(They went out)_

Carlisle: In this cor- What on earth are you wearing, Aro?

Aro: I'm a banana.

Carlisle: Right, anyway. In this corner we have: Aro, Jane and Caius.

In that corner we have: Poor little mind reader, Clutzy McGee and Awesome Em.

Jane whispers to Aro: Why didn't we get nick-names?

Aro: I didn't think about it.

Carlisle: Begin!

Jane: You got me trippin oh, stumbling oh, flippin oh, fumbling oh  
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love, in love  
You got me slippin oh, tumbling oh, sinking oh, fumbling oh  
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love, in love  
So in love with you

Can't help it  
The girl can't help it oh baby  
Can't help it  
The girl can't help it oh baby  
Can't help it  
The girl can't help it oh baby  
Can't help it 

Edward: Boo!

Bella: Jitterbug

Edward: Jitterbug

Emmett: Jitterbug

Bella: Jitterbug

Edward: You put the boom-boom into my heart  
You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts  
Jitterbug into my brain  
Goes a bang-bang-bang 'til my feet do the same  
But something's bugging you  
Something ain't right  
My best friend told me what you did last night  
Left me sleepin' in my bed  
I was dreaming, but I should have been with you instead. 

Bella: Wake me up before you go-go  
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo  
Wake me up before you go-go  
I don't want to miss it when you hit that high  
Wake me up before you go-go  
'Cause I'm not plannin' on going solo  
Wake me up before you go-go  
Take me dancing tonight  
I wanna hit that high (yeah, yeah) 

Jane: Ow, it burns!

Caius: Who let the dogs out 

Jane and Aro: (woof, woof, woof, woof) 

Caius: Who let the dogs out 

Jane and Aro: (woof, woof, woof, woof) 

Caius: When the party was nice, the party was jumpin' (Hey, Yippie, Yi, Yo)  
And everybody havin' a ball (Hah, ho, Yippie Yi Yo)  
I tell the fellas "start the name callin'" (Yippie Yi Yo)  
And the girls report to the call  
The poor dog show down

Jane: Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof) 

Aro: Who let the dogs out (woof, woof, woof, woof) 

Bella: Oh it hurts so bad!

Edward: I like it when the beat goes da na da na  
Baby make your booty go da na da na  
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na  
That thong th thong thong thong  
I like it when the beat goes da na da na  
Baby make your booty go da na da na  
Girl I know you wanna show da na da na  
That thong th thong thong thong 

Jane: Upside, inside out she's livin la vida loca  
She'll push and pull you down, livin la vida loca  
Her lips are devil red and her skin's the color mocha  
She will wear you out livin la vida loca Come On!  
Livin la vida loca, Come on!  
She's livin la vida loca. 

Bella: Ricky Martin off?

Aro: Sure.

Caius: She bangs, she bangs  
Oh baby when she moves, she moves  
I go crazy 'cause she  
Looks like a flower  
But she stings like a bee  
Like every girl in history

She bangs, she bangs  
I'm wasted by the way she moves  
No one ever looked so fine  
She reminds me  
That a woman's got one thing on her mind 

Emmett: Hola Amiga, Hola Amiga  
You're my temple of desire  
WE'll go around the world in a day  
Don't say no, no  
Shake it my way, oh  
Shake your bon-bon  
Shake your bon-bon  
Shake your bon-bon

You're a Mata Hari  
I wanna know your story  
In the Sahara sun  
I wanna be the one  
That's gonna come and take you,  
make you  
Shake your bon-bon  
Shake your bon-bon  
Shake your bon-bon  
Up in the Himalayas  
C'mon I wanna lay ya  
We'll go around the world in a day  
Don't say no, no  
Shake it my way, oh  
Shake your bon-bon  
Shake your bon-bon  
Shake your bon-bon 

Aro: One, two , three four, five  
everybody in the car so come on let's ride  
To the liqueur-store around the corner,  
the boys say they want some gin and juice  
but I really don't wanna  
beerbust like I had last week  
I must stay deep 'cause talk is a cheap  
I like Angela, Pamela, Sandra and Rita  
and as I continue you know they're gettin' sweeter  
so what can I do I really beg you my Lord  
to me flirtin' it's just like a sport  
anything fly it's all good let me dump it  
please set in the trumpet

a little bit of Monica in my life  
a little bit of Erica by my side  
a little bit of Rita is all I need  
a little bit of Tina is what I see  
a little bit of Sandra in the sun  
a little bit of Mary all night long  
a little bit of Jessica here I am  
a little bit of you makes me your man 

Emmett: I think I should do it now.

Edward: Not yet.

Aro: I think I should do it now.

Caius: Not yet.

Bella: I know a song that get's on everybody's nerves everybody's nerves everybody's nerves and this is how it goes.

_(Complete silence)_

Bella: I know a song that get's on everybody's nerves everybody's nerves everybody's nerves and this is how it goes.

_(Complete silence)_

Bella: I know a song that get's on everybody's nerves everybody's nerves everybody's nerves and this is how it goes.

_(complete silence)_

Bella: I know a song that get's on everybody's nerves everybody's nerves everybod-

Caius: Oh my god, stop!

Bella: Told you.

Jane: When I dance they call me macarena  
and the boys they say that I´m buena  
they all want me, they can´t have me  
So they all come and dance beside me  
move with me jam with me  
and if your good i take you home with me  
A la tuhuelpa legria macarena  
Que tuhuelce paralla legria cosabuena  
A la tuhuelpa legria macarena Eeeh, macarena

_(everyone in the room does the macarena)_

Bella: Now Emmett.

Emmett: We were at a party  
His ear lobe fell in the deep   
Someone reached in and grabbed it  
It was a rock lobster

We were at the beach  
Everybody had matching towels  
Somebody went under a dock  
And there they saw a rock  
It wasn't a rock  
It was a rock lobster

Motion in the ocean  
His air hose broke   
Lots of trouble  
Lots of bubble  
He was in a jam  
S'in a giant clam

Down, down

Underneath the waves  
Mermaids wavin'  
Wavin' to mermen  
Wavin' sea fans  
Sea horses sailin'  
Dolphins wailin'

Red snappers snappin'  
Clam shells clappin'  
Muscles flexin'  
Flippers flippin' 

Jane: Oh god NOOO!!!

Caius: Now Aro!

Aro: It's peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time

Where he at

Where he at

Where he at

Where he at

There he go

There he go

There he go

There he go

Peanut butter jelly

Peanut butter jelly

Peanut butter jelly

Peanut butter jelly

Do the peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly,  
Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat

Do the peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly,  
Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat

Bella: Oh god make it stop!

Edward: Bella! Bella!

_(Bella wakes up in her bedroom)_

Bella: What happened?

Edward: You slept a really long time, you kept singing really annoying songs, then you started screaming

so I woke you up.

Bella: It was horrible, it all started with your family torturing you with annoying songs in their heads, then it turned into a competition.

Edward: You have a very creative imagination.

Bella: I'm just glad it's over.

_(Edward goes home)_

Emmett's thought's: Goodbye my lover  
Goodbye my friend  
You have been the one  
You have been the one for me

I am a dreamer and when I wake  
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take  
And as you move on, remember me  
Remember us and all we used to be  
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile 

Edward: Oh no! It's happening!!

**The End**


End file.
